FACT OR TACT

When do you say the FACT as it is or when do you use TACT to tell the truth?

There is nothing on the surface of this earth that beats the truth. How you present it however is a different matter entirely.

My Granny (God rest her soul) was known for her bravado in bluntly laying out facts. In Lagos pidgin English she does it in an 'I no send' manner.

One of her 'I no send' outburst stuck in my head forever. Please bear with me this story:

Granny had glaucoma operation in one eye. Following her discharge from the hospital, she came home with bandages over her two eyes. This means for a few days she depended on her other senses like ears, nose and touch and of course her daughter (Mom - God rest her soul) and her grandchildren for her daily needs. One certain weekend, even in her temporary 'visionless' state, Granny still managed to pull one of her 'I no send' scenarios. Here goes:

One of Mom's Cousins came visiting whilst Mom was out but he met Granny, my Sister and I at home. Granny had an issue with this certain Cousin and has always wanted tell him off or find a way to send him a nasty message. Granny however in bandages did not know it was the same Cousin waiting to see Mom. She actually thought it was the younger brother to the said Cousin she had the issue with. Anyway, Granny welcomed him to wait for Mom as she was only a few blocks away. After a few minutes of Cousin settling to some snacks, in her 'I no send' manner Granny decided to send a NOT very nice message to the Cousin through the 'brother'. When she was done, Cousin was embarrassed, but kept mute. My Sister and I almost collapsed in shock but we couldn't help the awkward situation. A little while later, Mom walked in and Granny repeated her 'accusations' in Mom's presence. Mom realised that the 'accused' Cousin was the one sitting mute! Knowing her Mother's 'I no send' lifestyle, Mom immediately knew what could have been said and tried to 'save' the day.

Mom: Granny why are you doing this? You are unaware reporting Cousin to himself!
Granny: (Nonchalantly) Really? I did not know he was the one visiting o......
Mom: You really should be careful how you carry on in this your 'I don't send manner'. It is not nice.
Granny: (Completely ignoring Mom, turned to the direction of visiting Cousin and said...) So, if I was reporting you to yourself, what exactly can you to do to me? Beat me up? Abegeeee!

The rest of us: GASP! (Lord have mercy!!)

Honestly, English language can not adequately capture the moment but if you can appreciate that her 'I no send' comment in Ijebu language? It's GUSTO!!!

That is my Granny for you! Fearless and 'she no send'!!!

Back to the matter at hand. I went through that scenario to bring up a very common societal issue - being blunt or being tactful about a matter. With Who, When, Why, and How? Hubby and I have discussed this matter now and again and it will be great to hear what others think about it.

I like to think myself as being truthful and fair when discussing a sensitive matter but I have 'grown' up a bit to know when to call a spade a spade. I however sometimes wish I have the daring attitude like my Granny. :) Why? Some people in this world only deserve such :).

Some people do shy away from being blunt for fear of hurting their friends or family and would rather talk about them/their issues behind their back. I don't favour this style much. Whilst sometimes the recipients may not be open for such blunt discussions or may look at such as a personal attack, keeping mute to be fair and 'nice' might be to their detriment. Or rather, should we find a way to relay the truth in a more subtle way? A balance or a twist?

Over the years, I have carefully identified my acquaintances, friends and 'frenemies' and I can sometimes tell when to handle matters either with fact or tact. But I am still learning too. You can never be an expert in this but I can share the following from experience:

Twenty odd years ago, a very good friend of mine asked of me 'no matter what, always tell me the truth and I will do the same to you'. To date, even though we both live countries apart, that friendship remained the best one I have made in my life and I really wish the whole world see it that way.

I also have another friend (we were both born on the same day, month and year but different continent :)) that we confide in each other for sensitive matters and we do not hold back on the truth from each other no matter how it hurts. (You know yourself babes - thanks for being such a confidant! You are indeed a friend that stick closer than a 'sister').

Again, I have another very close friend that is now a Pastor (bless him!). We both know when he should wear the hat of a 'friend' or 'brother'- this is when we discuss everything without anything held back. We get to share our joy, pain, anger and blessings. And we both know when he should wear his hat as a Pastor. It is only with him that  I am confident that I can touch 'the anointed' without the fear of thunder striking me from above! (Which I think is at the back of the mind of a lot of Nigerian/African these days if they speak about a 'Man of God' - LORD help me!).

So then it is over to you my folks - when is it a fact or tact? Or when should you say things as they really are and not sugar coat it?

• When your best friend is combining colours of the rainbow as fashion - Fact or Tact?
• When you think your friend is being silly on social media - Fact or Tact?
• When you hear a friend gossips about you - Fact or Tact?
• When you find out you are wrong about an issue you had with a friend - Fact or Tact?
• When a boss or spiritual leader self-appoint himself/herself as a demi-god - Fact or Tact?
• When a colleague at work or business stabs you in the back - Fact or Tact?
• When a spouse is taking some factors in your relationship for granted - Fact or Tact?
• When a friend is taking you for granted - Fact or Tact?
• When the government is leading your country to the wrong path - Fact or Tact?
• When you want to correct your friend's children - Fact or Tact?
• When your friend tells you how to raise your children - Fact or Tact?
• When you caught a married friend cheating - Fact or Tact?
• When your friends in Nigeria/Africa is asking for Money - Fact or Tact?
• When your Dad or Mom disapproves of your fiance/fiancee - Fact or Tact??

Don't hold back, add to the list, discuss or share your thoughts and most importantly, share this article!

Trillion Love Always!

TeeOO.

Credits:
Images: Internet

MOM WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING?

Mom? Why are you shouting? He asked innocently.

The look on 'Mom's' face was one of surprise rather than anger.

'Surprise' because her 5 year old could asked the her that question. 'Surprise' Because it was the last thing Mom was expecting from her 5-year old's mouth. And most definitely the 'anger' she was building up melted away because she has been calling (shouting?) him to come out of his bedroom minutes on-end before he finally emerged to the lounge to answer his Mom.

Now that was a banter between my nephew and my younger Sister. She told me how she suddenly felt 'old' and we laughed.

Here is another funny but thoughtful scenario:

An older friend of mine booked a handyman to come and fix her kitchen sink. During the 4 to 5 hours that the handyman was at my friend's flat, she shouted at different intervals for either of her two (2) sons to get this or do that.

Guess what Mr. Handyman did when he completed his task?

He walked to my friend and shouted 'I have finished!'

Of course my friend was upset and asked why he had to shout that he has completed the kitchen sink job?

Mr. Handyman cheekily answered ' Well I thought that's how you communicate in this house'?

Typical English Man. Laugh

Honestly, why do we Africans/Nigerians (especially women/mothers) shout? Is that the only way we can pass across our message as 'I mean it' or to stress our 'authority' to our children/younger or sometimes spouses or friends? The funniest thing is - we don't do any form of shouting at work!!!

I will forgive anyone that says Lagos (or any other metropolitan City in Nigeria/Africa) is noisy. With the loud car/bus/truck horns blaring, bus conductors' blabbing, market-women calling and all other dingy, I can indeed forgive but when we get to a City like London or Aberdeen for example in the UK, why do we still shout at home? I can also forgive the shouting/noisy conversations at Nigerian parties (of course - our Owambes just have to be noisy) as well but really...why at home?

Have you ever called from the UK to Nigeria and tried to hold a conversation with a relative in the Lagos 'noise'. You find out you can barely hear the other person on the line whilst the same person will confirm they can hear you perfectly and carry on with the conversation? Most times I give up and promise to call later when the person I was talking to gets home - that is if the neighbour's generator's and your relative's generator noises combined will let you!

I don't know how many of you have seen the agony of the 'African Man Gets Burgled' on youtube but the typical Nigerian parent shouting was well captured (if you havent seen it here it is))

I remember a time when my siblings and I gave my Mom (God rest her soul) a nickname 'Mrs Shonariwo' simply because she can shout down instructions from her bedroom to our own. Now 'Ariwo' means 'Noise' in Yoruba language but I have no idea what the 'Sho' stands for but Shonariwo is a well knownYoruba name and since it worked for the purpose my siblings and I wanted it for, we use the nickname now and again to respond when Dearest Mom 'Mrs. Shonariwo' calls. Soon enough she realised why we nicknamed her such; she called a family meeting and told us off. Needless to say that was the end of it. It was either that or the Koboko will reset our brains to its original or default setting.

So over to you my folks kindly read, share this article AND to make this more fun can you also share your own 'Shonariwo' moments? :)

Trillion Love!

TeeOO.

Credits:
Images: Random Internet Images

SCANDAL or SCANDALOUS

Scandal TV Series is an American political thriller television series starring Kerry Washington. Created by Shonda Rhimes.

I joined the Scandal Fans in 2013 (I am scandalously late :) I know but I soon played catch up). I loved it. I encouraged, cajoled and created a network of friends that also caught the 'Scandal Fever'. When I ask some of my 'inner circle' friends network and they haven't seen or heard of it, I roll my eyes in un-belief. Yes I am a GLADIATOR!

Did I mention I got the hubby hooked too? Yes I did. He resisted it at first (yes like every typical Naija man will dismiss any romantic soap/tv series) then I mentioned the character of "Command'' and he peeped at me from the corner of his eyes and asked ' You Sure'? I said 'Yes' then he said okay lets see. From the very fist episode I recorded on SKY? Let just say that his weekend was made :) (The things women can do sha lol - and we are supposed to be the weaker party abi? I hear you)

And then....

I read a post a few days ago written by a Christian condemning the TV series because of the 'Unchristian' virtues e.g. Divorce-suggesting, gay/homosexuality, political e.t.c and I sat back wondering if I am also a Christian. Actually, I am. I spent some few minutes reading the comments on the blog post and some were singing the same 'Sodom and Gomorrah' kingdom whilst a few shared balanced views. I fall in the later group.

Or am I sitting on the fence?

Whilst we all have our own definition of Christianity and 'faith' in other religion that I respect; I have made a conscious decision a few years ago that religion is not one of issues I will flog with friends/colleagues. I will live my life to reflect what I believe in faith and in morals and hope it ministers enough to touch lives and make a difference.

Yes I am a Christian without any apology.

I am sorry that the other blogger feels the way she did about this TV Series but I do like the Scandal Series and intend to continue watching it.  Why? It is QUALITY production, no doubt at all it is engaging and it entertains! Plus it is put together by someone who is Black/African-American and so is the top actress Kelly Washington - and all these makes sense to me to support the programme.

Why do we have to analyse every cup of water we drink when we cannot even create a spring or well of water. I don't live my life by 'Scandal' neither will 'Scandal' choose what I eat or drink for me. I look at the current generational churches/Christians along with the associated 'scandals' and my conclusion is.....We are hypocrites!!!  I will rather watch the fictional but entertaining TV Series' Scandal than watch and support the real life/living churches Scandals!!!

The TV series have exposed millions of people all over the world to what is going on in the political realm of power; re-positioned a very brilliant actress - Kerry Washington (a LADY for a change!!!) who is 'Black' to the top 10 favourite list of the Oscars?

Like every other projects, 'Scandal''s first series was received with criticism but this is an extract applauding the series:

Scandal has quite a bit to say about how people in general operate. By extension, it also has a lot to say about the type of television people respond to in this ever-splintered viewing environment. In a year in which almost all ratings are down, Scandal has gone up. Its insane storytelling really isn’t insane at all. Many want to dub House Of Cards the future of television as a whole. In terms of distribution, this may be true. But by giving audiences what they want, and then giving them so much more than they ever expected, Scandal is the show those looking toward the future of television should be aiming to actually produce, regardless of the medium in which it is viewed.

And about Shonda:

Shonda Lynn Rhimes (born January 13, 1970) is an American screenwriter, director, and producer. Rhimes is best known as the creator, head writer, executive producer and showrunner of the medical drama television series Grey's Anatomy, its spin-off Private Practice and political thriller series Scandal. In May 2007, Rhimes was named one of TIME magazine's 100 people who help shape the world. Rhimes was an executive producer for the medical drama series Off the Map which aired on ABC for one season in 2011. Rhimes serves as executive producer for ABC's new legal series How to Get Away with Murder, which debuted September 25, 2014.

Can we just celebrate the effort of a woman living in a world of 'dog eat dog' Sharkville known as Hollywood? Should I really go on? If nothing, we should applaud the African American woman that is now becoming a positive role model for her and the new generations!

I love my favourite non-Black/White film and TV productions and love watching them too. However I am Nigerian-British (not British-Nigerian :))  and I love to celebrate everything that is positive from AFRICA or BLACK Origin. When I look at the similar effort being showcased by Kunle Afolayan, I wonder why we are still looking beyond ourselves for excellence? Only just recently, Nigeria (or Lagos State Government I should say specifically) displayed excellence in defeating the dreaded EBOLA virus. Maybe when we all consciously choose what to believe and support about our African/Black background and professionalism and not stab ourselves at the back; only then can we can convince others to do the same in the communities we live in.

Abegeeee....I am on for the new season start of Scandal and if you aren't on the train yet and strong enough in faith to believe this is not another 666 scam to derail Christians, then hop on!

Credit:

Image: Internet

Criticism Qoute: Wikipedia - October, 2014

MOBO AWARDS: NO LIVE BROADCAST OF AFRICAN ACTS

A friend vowed never to watch or support the MOBO awards again. On the social media too are comments that can only be likened to the anger a lot of Africans were spitting out.

I was lucky to be switching between the BBC 1's 'The Apprentice' and the MOBO award so was not really angry - plus I was genuinely interested in the event styling/decor for the award as this is my passion (not very impressed there) and could not be bothered about the awardees. I did however noticed that although I got a mobile phone broadcast of the Gospel Award going to the Living Faith Connection from a friend (thanking all of us that voted for the support etc), I never really saw the live broadcast of the award being presented.

I don't understand why the MOBO award founder and the events team would allow the backstage presentation of awards to African Acts! They should understand the challenges of being able to take a stand as minorities. #Notcool.

I read my favourite publicist - DJ Abass' view on this non-broadcast of African Acts and knew immediately there is a problem! I do agree. Lets take a stand on this unappreciated attitude and go only where we are celebrated.

#Nuffsaid.

TeeOO.

Credits:
Image: LiveMagUK
Linked Post: DJ Abass.

OSCAR PISTORIUS SENTENCED FOR 5 YEARS

South African Paralympic athlete Oscar Pistorius has been sentenced to jail for 5 (five) years for culpable homicide for the death of his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp. Culpable homicide in South Africa means a person was killed unintentionally, but unlawfully.

During the trial, the double-amputee sprinter most times cried at the mention of Reeva's name. His defence has been that he mistook his girlfriend for an intruder when he shot at her through his apartment's toilet door on Valentine's day - February 14 2013.

Judge Thokozile Masipa issued the ruling this morning October 21, 2014 and also gave Pistorius a 3-year suspended sentence for a firearms charge - although the prosecution had called for a minimum 10-year sentence - defence for house arrest and community service.

Live coverage on the BBC, CNN, Sky and other world news channels.

Credits:

News Extract: BBC News.

Images: Internet, Various.

KUNLE AFOLAYAN ON OCTOBER 1

Kunle Afolayan discussed his latest film 'October 1' and his dream of taking Africa Cinema to the next level on AriseTV UK this week. (Videoclip further below)

We await the Dates for the UK theatrical release and hopefully in Aberdeen/Scotland too.

About 'OCTOBER 1:

October 1 is a 2014 Nigerian dark psychological thriller film written by Tunde Babalola, produced and directed by Kunle Afolayan. It stars Sadiq Daba, Kayode Olaiya, David Bailie, Kehinde Bankole, Kanayo O. Kanayo, Fabian Adeoye Lojede, Nick Rhys, Kunle Afolayan, Femi Adebayo, Bimbo Manuel, Ibrahim Chatta and introducing Demola Adedoyin and Deola Sagoe.

The film narrates the story of Danladi Waziri (Sadiq Daba), a police officer from Northern Nigeria who is posted to a remote town of Akote inWestern Nigeria to investigate the frequent female murder cases in the community, and have the mystery solved before the Nigerian flag is raised on October 1, Nigeria's Independence Day.

The film which received sponsorships from Lagos State Government, Toyota Nigeria, Elizade Motors, Guinness and Sovereign Trust Insurance was shot in Lagos and Ondo State for a period of over forty days after four months of preproduction. The film premiered on 28 September 2014 at EXPO centre, Eko Hotel and Suites, with a general theatrical release on 1 October 2014, after several release postponements.

Credits:

Article: Wikipedia

Video: AriseTV

Image: Internet

NIGERIA DECLARED EBOLA FREE - WHO UPDATE

The World Health Organisation (WHO) has officially declared Nigeria EBOLA free with no new cases.

Ebola virus disease (EVD), formerly known as Ebola haemorrhagic fever, is a severe, often fatal illness in humans.

As a Science Undergraduate, I remembered this virus (and others) being taught in one of my VIROLOGY classes whilst at LASU (Lagos State University) by our Professor Lecturer in the 90s. We had a lot of fun using the names of different viruses back them to call our colleagues just to remember these names during the course examinations.  Little did we know that the Ebola virus will cause so much devastation in West African countries and around the world.

Whilst the Nigerian declaration is good news, we will continue to pray, support and encourage the support around the world to get rid of the Ebola virus.

Fact-sheet on Ebola: http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs103/en/

Full details of the WHO updates here:

http://www.who.int/mediacentre/news/ebola/20-october-2014/en/

Articles: World Health Organisation (WHO)
Photo Credit: World Health Organisation (WHO)

THE MAHOGANY BRIDAL SHOW AND EXHIBITION 2014

It is a pleasure to announce that Mahogany Bridal Show & Exhibition - the largest African Caribbean Bridal Show will be taking place on Sunday 26th October 2014.

It has always been an exciting event that I have loved to be part of and also promote. Every year, the Organiser/Founder Mr. 'Mahogany' Oyebade hosts the luxury event in London.

The Mahogany Bridal Show & Exhibition continues to be a stand out bridal show that not only caters for the traditional bride to be, but also focuses on fashion for the fashion conscious bride who is looking for something eclectic and unique for their special day.

In addition to the fashion shows there will be a number of exhibitors on hand who will be able to provide expert advice on planning your day such as the wedding cake, catering and everything you need to know about how to make your day extra special.

There will also be various seminars throughout the day which you can register for free of charge!

Click here for more information and for tickets: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/mahogany-bridal-show-exhibition-2014-tickets-12663584121

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT ABERDEEN (I)

Hello Folks!

Overwhelmed! Is the closest word I can find for the comments and following I have received on the previous blog posts. For a starter, getting 288 hits the first day on an article is simply awesome and I just want to say a huge thank you to all. I hope you will continue to find this blog relevant. I really do appreciate you.

Back on the series: 'What I Miss About London and What I Love About Aberdeen'...

Apart from the 'funny threats' I have received from my family/friends/contacts in London that they will not allow me to come down south for their 'snails' because I 'dissed' their city, I am 'aiight' (LAUGH). It was really fun back-chatting on the post.

In the latest ' Bond 007' series - 'SKYFALL' there was a conversation between James Bond and M on their escape route from danger:

M: Where exactly do you think you are taking me?

007:'Back in time. Somewhere where we have an advantage'

Guess where? Bond's childhood home in .....SCOTLAND!!!

I cannot recall how many times Hubby has watched that 'SKYFALL'. He has a 'method' to watching his favourite films. If he loves a film, it gets a nomination into his 'classics' where the likes of 'Godfather, The Don, The Green Mile, Master of the Game and recently 'DJango' belongs. Anytime I find him watching one of these, I shake my head and ask - 'how many times do you plan to watch this film'? After a while I stopped asking. Don't ask me - he has his methods :)

Anyways, I hope to write 'my love' for Aberdeen in two parts. Starting with a few facts about Aberdeen and then on to the fun bit. Here is the first:

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT ABERDEEN:

I really like Aberdeen. I supposed that means I like Scotland too.

My first trip with Hubby to Aberdeen from London was by road. Skipping all the 'interesting' bits travelling up to 10 hours, the most unforgettable reality that hit me was when I saw the 'Welcome to SCOTLAND' sign.  Then I saw some 'amazing' sights - the expanse of land!!! Wow! From the motorway entry via the M74/A74 into Glasgow, to the unending fields with the odd hundreds of sheep, I was 'taken'. Coming from London where we hardly get any space to walk but at the parks, I just couldn't get enough of the 'space'. I brought out my iPad taking photographs of the scenery. And when I found that 'sorry about the shite..' signage I couldn't help but laugh!

So apart from the beautiful landscapes (p.s - some of these landscape pictures are not mine) that 'hit' me when I entered Scotland, here are the things are really love about Aberdeen:

ABERDEEN - A COSMOPOLITAN CITY:

According to Aberdeen City Council, ''Aberdeen is a lively, Cosmopolitan City'.  Indeed that is true if you do not mind living in a small 'GRAY' city. History has it that Aberdeen houses were built with the free/abundance of granite so the entire Old Aberdeen area in the City looks all gray! (Not kidding! See bird's view picture below)

The size of the city will be a shock to the typical Londoner's system. I remember the first time I went to the 'City Centre' and I asked my hubby who has been to the city before me if 'that was it?' Honestly - you can walk the Union Street (Aberdeen's version on London's West End) at a stretch in 20 minutes and that is leisurely walking o!

I really loved seeing the popular Piper at the Union Square Gardens (sadly he passed) who; come rain or shine is always playing his beloved pipe as people walk, cycle or drive pass. May God bless his cheerful soul.

The Union street has the mall, property businesses, food/restaurants, fashion stores, banks, phone shops, one pounders e.t.c.

All around the Union Street and 5 to 10 kilometre radius, one can find cinemas, another mall (much bigger than the Union Street's), theatres, oil and gas businesses, smaller service companies, the Beach Boulevard Park stretch, hotels etc.

Sorry, there is no Nigerian/African restaurant or club or events/party centre. However, a few alternatives exist (more on these some blogpost soon)

Yeah..that's Aberdeen.

BIRD'S VIEW OF ABERDEEN

Beach Boulevard Park

Beach Boulevard Park

UNION STREET, ABERDEEN (most houses in the city area are typically 'GRAY' looking - for real!)

The Mall

Willie The Aberdeen Piper (RIP)

LOW UNEMPLOYMENT RATE

One of the USP Aberdeen has for us as a couple coming up north is the availability of jobs (of course!) I would not want to jinx it but almost everyone I have met here in Aberdeen has a job or a business (or both). Not necessarily in Oil and Gas as a lot of people assumed but majority of Nigerians I have met are in work.

According to Aberdeen City Council, 'the level of unemployment is low compared with the other main cities and the overall Scottish average. Another facts and figures online says 'The unemployment rate in Aberdeen is presently 2.2% compared to 8.5% in Scotland and 8.3% in the UK. I also read an article on Yahoo that supports my basic research on the employment rate in Aberdeen.

Overall, I would say Aberdeen scores ace in my assessment for employment/career.

THE TRAVEL

I found the home-work-home travel in Aberdeen not as 'life-threatening' as it was in London. If you are driving, a typical journey to work is around 30-40minutes (MAX!). And if you live close to the City centre, less.

Similar to the operations in London, the Bus Operator 'First' operates a high frequency network of services across Aberdeen and offers a range of unlimited daily travel and season tickets to suit passengers of all requirements. There are also frequent Train services from Aberdeen to Inverness stopping at major towns like Dyce, Inverurie, Insch and Huntly. If the Ferry floats your boat (pardon the pun), you also have the choice to travel that route too. :)

Aberdeen encourages tourism and if you are one like me that is very inquisitive, you can check out VISIT ABERDEEN for all the goodies Aberdeen City can offer you as a tourist.

The strangest thing I found shocking is that Nigerians in Aberdeen are so spoilt for choice that if the travel between point A and B is up to 30minutes, their complaint is 'Ha, its too far'....WHAT??? Thats a walk in the park in London!

LOW CRIME RATE

I guess the fact that unemployment is low, the crime rate is also low. I have not read/heard of a gun and knife crime on TV or local news yet (thankfully)!

Well there is the typical drunken behaviour and theft but generally. I think the biggest sin in the city is the drunkenness. Aberdonians loveeee their beer/alcohol. Aberdeen has been voted in several polls as the happiest place to live in Britain and its lowest crime rates makes it one of the safest places to live and work in Britain.

Now we are done with the some 'formal' bits, I want to write on the 'fun' stuff. And I want to start with....

THE BEACH!

I could not wait to get to the beach! I read about it before we left London and promised myself to go 'every-day' (yeah right!) Eventually, Hubby and I visited Balmedie beach on our own just to take in the environment, take some photos and a few video clips. A few weeks alter, we went down with a group of friends for a few hours and it was one of the the most beautiful short visits I have taken.

Just this 2014 summer, we had the 'African Summerfest' at the same beach. (More on that in a blog post soon).

My London folks can 'jealous' or 'diss' me all they like but they don't have a beach to 'shakara' (boast) for me!!! We have to travel all the way about 3 hours to Bournemouth in England to get close to a beach! #Notcool.

I will continue the fun bits in the next post. To my Aberdonian friends + family, do let me know your thoughts on what I should capture here. (if I have indeed missed any lol)

P.S:

I love the film  SKYFALL for a few reasons (apart from seeing darling 'M' dies! Who does that???? I have known 'M' all my life in the Bond 007 series nah!), I specifically love it that SCOTLAND was given a global platform for its scenery and it's no 'nonsense' ideology (Who can forget the scene in the film when Kincade welcomed Silva's opposition with some blasts from his shotgun and said 'Welcome to Scotland' Thank God that wasn't typical at Scottish airports!)

FEATURING ELOHO

I serve on the board and project activities for TRENDYPR as the Resource Manager. Part of my role as the Resource Manager is to find, showcase and promote inspiring people and projects. My first in Aberdeen is ELOHO!

The TRENDYPR CHANNEL (on YouTube) focuses on the energy and personalities behind inspiring projects. This particular feature is with ELOHO - talking to us about herself, her new album project 'ARISE' and the other inspiring projects she has worked on. 

Her album is out and now on sale at:

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/arise/id825124498


Enjoy!

AN AFRICAN PARTY

Taking a break from my series 'What I Miss About London and What I Love About Aberdeen' (which will continue soon).

I want to digress to a topic that is very social - An African Party! (...and how about one in Aberdeen? Well read on. Erm Aberdonians - please don't forget...it's TRENDY FRIDAY on the 14th of March 2014!)

Africans love to party! Religious or not, socially, we are 'genetically structured' to celebrate a milestone or the other. However our parties are like no other and for non-Africans, it is a 'must' to attend at least one party in order to experience a typical African social gathering and to understand how we party or play. Our milestone events like weddings, baby dedications, birthdays, anniversaries, house-warming, even funeral are filled with vibrant colours, rich food, drinks , playful banter and more, what’s not to like?

(To dismiss some generalised scepticism - not every party or social gathering is 'booze-centred' and we still party/socialise without alcohol!)

I am a Nigerian and since Nigeria is still an African country (Giant of Africa for that matter! Erm - did someone sneeze? Duh!) I will drill home to Nigeria to highlight a typical 'African-Nigerian' party. If you are particularly from the socially acclaimed region in Southern Nigeria known as Ijebu, then it is by default that you were born to be an' 'event organiser' or  'party planner'. How the other fellow Nigerians can believe an Ijebu person (or Ijebusite lol) to be stingy  I can never understand  because they spend a lot on planning and hosting the most glamorous parties! Anyway me think say na jealousy jealousy jare!

OK - back to an African Party. At a glance, an outsider might consider it to be 'chaos’! With all the array of event decor,  bottles of drinks, food buffet, live-band/DJ, colourful attires and the 'designers sun-glasses-in-a-room' worn by the guests, and their endless chatter on their latest Blackberry, IPhone, Samsung, and other gadgets, it is no wonder anyone will be amazed BUT - give it another 5 minutes to take it all in, let the music come on and presto! You will see how a party really comes to life!!!

STRUCTURE:

By tradition and the way our celebrations or events are structured, the typical African-Nigerian party is typically lengthy – with food and music being the highlights (and most recently - 'selfies').

TIMING:

Do not quote me on this as Nigerians are professionally changing their attitude. However, historically when a party is tagged to start at 6PM, it is best to arrive at 7PM or later. I don't know why this is so but it is what it is. I will leave it at that.

FOOD:

Pardon me, I am writing from the perspective of an Ijebusite therefore, on the food, the pride of a Nigerian host reflects on his or her party food buffet which usually include  jollof-rice, fried-rice, moin-moin, ayamase stew, pounded yam, amala, eba, tuwo, ewedu, efo-ririo (vegetable stew) or if extending to our Eastern audience, nkwobi, peppersoup, isi-ewu and other variety never seen on the list of menu of any European hotel/venue. There are caterers specialised in this varieties and can extend the list!

FASHION/ATTIRE:

I was particularly impressed when I came across an academic journal highlighting some historical aspects of 'Aso-Ebi'

What is Aso-Ebi? Pronounced ASHO EYBEE  translated to English means family cloth. These are Nigerian outfits made from matching fabric to be worn by a group of people to a party, wedding, or naming ceremonies. Aso-ebi is a phenomenon seen at Nigerian events  to indicate the close relationship of the guests or group of people to the celebrants or the host.

I needed to explain the phenomenon that has escaped the shores of the original owners of Aso-Ebi (Yorubas in Nigeria) to the other parts of Nigeria, Ghana, Togo, Uganda and other African nations.  Aso-Ebis can be very colourful and so trendy. As with all other social phenomenon, it can be worn moderately and with class or overdone which can make it look tacky.

With me, it is a love-hate relationship. I can buy and wear it however, I developed a mental 'sieve' for it whilst living in London. As beautiful as 'togetherness' may sound, if you ever have to buy 'every' family, friends, frenemy, and acquitance's aso-ebi to 'show your close relationship' in London - you will end up being financially broke and ultimately a hoarder. Parties in London starts from Wednesday through Sunday. So much so that there is a 'village' in South London where warehouses have been turned to event venues! These venues are all very flexible to accommodate the requirements for any type of party or occasion being celebrated (I can only describe this fully in a future post!) Soooooooo, I have carefully invested in some gorgeous dresses that can yet be 'accepted' at my Nigerian parties. Even though most of the time I stick out like a sore thumb, (and I have an Aunt that passionately dislikes this part of me) I am never alone in that 'group' at any celebration. {Na wetin! I got bills to pay abegeee}



MUSIC:

Depends if it will be a live band or a high-flyer DJ.  The music has got to be on-point. Otherwise the guests will throw suggestions at the live band or DJ in encouragement or annoyance. Afro-beat has taken over the music scene globally and needs no introduction but the older generations still prefers their classic slow-beat from Sunny Ade, Commander Obey, Ayinde Barrister, Oliver de Coque, and others. However, there are some talented new breed of musicians and DJs that have found a way to blend both the old and new and call it whatever you like, even a granny can now dance Azonto!

DANCE:

Similar to the TV advert for the Irish Cider - the Magner; 'There is a method' to dancing to a Nigerian Music. Either you get it or you don't! And there is no longer any excuse acceptable in the whole wide world that is accepted for not knowing how to 'dig it' With the numerous youtube clips showing our Western/European friends/spouses dancing 'Azonto' or to 'Whizkid' or 'Davido' it will be disastrous to be seen on the dance floor dancing like a string drawn puppet!

I will leave out the 'money spraying bit' common at a Nigerian party to the imagination of my fellow Nigerians.

A very funny Nigerian Comedian described a typical 'Yoruba Woman' dance close to this:

1. She gorgeously make her way to the dance floor following the rhythm of the music.
2. When she has chosen a spot that all eyes can see, she forms a pinch with her fore -finger and thumb and pulls the left edge of the blouse at the shoulder.
3. She 'scatters' her face into a frown yet looking gorgeous then....
4. She slowly gravitate her waist all the way to the floor looking for an 'unseen' jewelery! Yet making it all very classy and effortless.

Phew!!! I bet some of you tried it!!! Yes that description is tempting.





[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcVdoLIBCA0&w=560&h=315])

AFRICAN PARTIES IN ABERDEEN:

Now in Aberdeen, some of the typical African party requirements are not really accommodated.

Venue Hire: To hire a venue, it has to be from a scheduled time X and finish at a scheduled time Y. AH!

Music: The music – now that is the real deal! Depending on the host (background or faith) , the music is rich and deep. You cannot attend an African party with music in full swing and not participate. The music is too tempting. Of course not everyone dances the 'Atingo or Azonto' and the other youthful exuberance/infused steps,  but music really takes us ‘home’. If a live band is in attendance – oh boy!!! But we don't have any here in Aberdeen - luckily we do settle for the experienced DJ.

Food: In addition to the limitations on the schedules for the venue hire, the restriction on the food which you would love to bring to the venue ‘kills’ the party spirit in Aberdeen. What exactly can you do to make sausages, black pudding and eggs so special that can be compared to a typical 'mama put' amala and ewedu? or 'Ghana High Jollof Rice'? (Only readers that knows this 'Mama Put's place on Lagos Island can appreciate that rice' Oh boy!)

The scene is altogether different in London where Nigerian DJs and Event managers have met with luxury hotel managers, private/exclusive venue owners and town halls to explain the uniqueness and dynamics of an African wedding. Initially, the venue/hotel venues were reluctant however, when they gave it a chance, it became a different story. Today, these hotel and venue managers have no regrets. Because economically, it made sense! Rather than having an empty unused space every weekend, some agreements were made (give and take) and now almost every hotel is busy at weekends in London. In addition, new businesses has sprung up to meet the demands that such a breakthrough can bring with it (party caterers, venue decorators, make up artists etc. Check them out on my wedding website http://www.weddingtrendy.com).

I took up this challenge and visited a few venues in Aberdeen and can proudly say, 4 are willing to accommodate our requirements ! Whilst we can make this happen and bring some inward and influx of economy into Aberdeen, there is obviously some terms to be met and depending on your budget and preferences I am very happy to work with anyone that might be interested in this.

My name is Timi and I promote Africa/Nigeria in Aberdeen.

BTW: Here is a clip of a Nigerian wedding from Youtube (Courtesy, Memsdan): ENJOY!!!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Al5lb2zAHnA&w=560&h=315])